The realities of a long distance relationship as a graduate

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There are so many articles about trying to stay in a long distance relationship when starting university/college etc. I have found there is a lot less advice out there on how to cope in a long distance relationship after university. It is hard to go from literally living in the same shared student accommodation to different cities, but is it possible, and is it worth it?

Ok, so on the worth it side of things that’s your decision to make. Long distance isn’t always fun but if your relationship is one you really want to work at you will probably decide it’s worth giving it a shot.

Here are some of my tips on maintaining your university relationship when you’re no longer at university:

Make time for each other…

It is really important that you make time for each other in a long distance relationship no matter how difficult it might be.

Scheduled in a Skype session on a Saturday morning? Try not to miss it. Try your best to make time for each other to communicate and to feel like you’re still in a relationship even if you’re not seeing each other as often.

If one person stops making as much time for the other it’s often a bad sign and can leave the other person feeling lonelier and distant which is never good.

Communication is key and you need to feel like you’re still a part of your partners life. With the technology we have communication shouldn’t be too difficult. A ‘good morning’ text can go a long way.

…but don’t miss out on new opportunities

This is a tough one. In my opinion I think it’s just important to make time for new opportunities in a long distance post-uni relationship.

You have a new job in a new city away from your partner? Don’t be afraid to make new friends. Don’t be afraid to explore the new city without your partner. You have to remember to get on with your own life.

In a healthy relationship you need to give each other a little bit of space. Do you really need to see each other every single day that you’re not working? Maybe you want to. But sometimes you need a break and you need to develop yourself and your own life independently.

Communication and making time for each other is important but it is a balancing act.

Have a plan

Having a plan is a great way to get through the post-uni relationship struggle.

If you are in a different city to your partner maybe you plan to move to the same city after saving up. If you set a date for this it might help in making the distance feel more like a temporary set back in your relationship. It also gives you both a common focus and a motivation for remaining happy in the relationship.

Another reason planning is important in the short-term is because it can make life more simple. Maybe you could have a schedule of when you are to visit each other? Maybe you can plan important events like birthdays and christmas in advance?

Be positive

If you stay in your post-uni relationship and stick at it long distance it’s because you think it’s worth it.  Just remember this when it gets lonely or tough. You stayed together for a reason – don’t forget that! 🙂

It would be nice to hear others experiences of long-distance relationships following university/college and how it worked out.

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